2009 September

I Don’t Like Kisses…

10 September 2009 by Katie · 1 Comment

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I was chatting with a friend the other day about my dilemma in dealing with Rowan not wanting to kiss particular people hello and goodbye.

On the one hand, I don’t want to force Rowan to give someone affection if he really doesn’t want to – it seems to go against the principle that if he doesn’t feel comfortable with some kind of intimacy with another person, then he should feel that he can say ‘no’.

On the other hand, it is polite manners in our society to kiss people, especially family members, even if they aren’t our favourite people.

My friend concurred that she had had the same issue with her little boy. The situation is even harder when meeting relatives for the first time – people who expect a kiss, even though the child has never set eyes on them before…

But my friend told me about a picture book that treats the anti-kissing dilemma. I Don’t Like Kisses – by Ricki Mainzer and illustrated by Donni Carter – is the story of a girl called Sam. Sam visits her grandparents every week, but she hates home-time because it means kisses-from-the-family. Auntie Bertha – scratching the little black spot on her cheek – Uncle Royston – twirling his walrus moustache and toothless Gramps all want their kisses.

After a heated tantrum, Sam herself comes up with a suggestion to solve the problem – ‘There are OTHER ways to say goodbye.”

And so Sam finds individual ways to say goodbye to each member of her family – a firm handshake for Uncle Oscar, a pat on the back from Aunt Olive and a loving ruffle on the head from Gramps.

I know that Rowan sometimes feels more comfortable giving someone a high-five, than he does giving kisses, and this is the same idea. Convincing the adult involved that kisses aren’t compulsary is the only remaining issue…

The copy I have been lent is a 1992 Five Mile Press Australian publication – and now out of print. If you are lucky you might find a copy secondhand or at your library…

Anyone else found some good strategies for this issue, or know of other books that deal with this situation?

Filed Under: Age 2+, Picture books

When We Were Little…

7 September 2009 by Katie · 3 Comments

It’s special to me when I discover that one of my favourite childhood books was also a favourite of my mum’s. This was the case with Rabbit And His Friends, which I posted about here, and with the book I’m posting about today: A Little House of Your Own.

Everyone has to have a little house of his own.
Every boy has to have his own little house.
Every girl should have a little house all to herself.

In this book a ‘house’ is a metaphor for a space of one’s own – it doesn’t need to have a roof and four walls – it can be a cardboard box or a treehouse or the space under a dining table. No matter what place you find, it is important for every person to have a space that they can create and retreat to. As a child or an adult, it is an incredibly affirming idea.

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The copy mum has is a 1961 reprint of the original 1957 publication, written by Beatrice Schenk de Regniers and illustrated by Irene Haas. The endpapers are stained and at one point the jacket became so damaged that mum resorted to cutting a portion of it and sticking it to the front.

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My childhood memories focus mostly on the illustrations of the book – which evoked so strongly in my imagination possible scenarios for creating new cubby houses and hiding places. The detail is exquisite and even now I can’t help but look at these pictures in awe of the simplicity of the form – black and white, pen and ink with incredible detail and variation in light and dark rendered on each page.

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I loved the book’s message when I was little – and the very empowering feeling it gave me. It validated the desire for even a small child to have some place of their very own. This message has the same power, and a different significance as an adult. The following passage resonates particularly now:

Your papa is in his own little house when he is behind his newspaper.
He wants everyone to leave him alone. He doesn’t want anyone to bother him.
No children.
No grownups.

When your mama takes a nap it is just as though she has gone into her own little house and shut the doors and the windows.
She wants everyone to leave her alone. She doesn’t want anyone to talk to her or to ask her questions.
If you tickle her she will wake up -
and then she won’t be in her own little secret house anymore.
But that really isn’t fair, is it?

Too true!!

I’ve just discovered that cocoon couture also blogged about this book, just a couple of weeks ago… You can see the post (with more internal images and a scan of our original cover) here.

Filed Under: Age 3+, When we were little...