A guest post by Sarah, mum to Neve (10), Cissy (3) and Jemima (1).

I have had a difficult week, and it has led me to write what might seem a somewhat macabre list. In my bookselling days I have always said that it is so important to have a book about dying on the shelf because the moment that you need it is the one moment when you don’t want to be in the bookshop looking for it. Explaining death to very young children is difficult – and the real significance is often lost on them. I’m not sure that any books on my list are really for the under 4s, the subject is often dealt with in a very abstract way which is probably beyond them.  Having said that here are the few that I think are worth considering – depending on your circumstances.

1. Badger’s Parting Gifts (Susan Varley)
This is the one I like the very best.

Badger is friend, advisor and the wise old creature of the woodland – and he knows it is his time to die. Badger’s friends are extremely sad when he leaves them, but find hope and comfort in their memories and also the gifts that badger has wisely given them before he dies. Their memories let badger live on.
This book is a bit of a tear jerker for the grown ups (unfortunately one of the traps of these kinds of books) but it is poignant and gently told. Highly appropriate for explaining the death of an older person – may not be so relevant for a more sudden loss.

2. Old Pig (Margaret Wild and Ron Brooks)

This is an Australian title and an award winner by Margaret Wild with gorgeous illustrations by Ron Brooks (of Bunyip of Berkley Creek and John Brown, Rose and the Midnight Cat). With the backdrop of the passing seasons, the story of Old Pig and Granddaughter unfolds. They live together and share everything. As the winter approaches, so does the inevitable passing of Old Pig. It is subtle, tender, gentle and beautifully illustrated.  It is a book for the 4+ age group and its subtlety may be lost on some. Again it is more appropriate for explaining the loss of an older person – Old Pig has time to put her affairs in order and say goodbye to her life.

3. Lifetimes – or Beginnings and Endings with Lifetimes in Between (Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen)

With the decline of religion in many of our lives, it becomes harder to find solace in the loss of a loved one. How do we take away any meaning – and try to convey this to our children? Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie with illustrations from the wonderful Robert Ingpen (mentioned here just recently) is a book that goes some way to finding a religion-free, yet meaningful pathway through the topic of life: beginning, middle and end. And the book does exactly that, it takes nature and explains that everything has a life, a beginning and an end, with a lifetime in between – from the shortest life of a butterfly to the long life of a tree.  Although abstract in nature, this book has a more general application and celebrates the lifetime – the living of life - which I think can be of some comfort to the grieving.

There are a host of other books out there for trying to explain death to children – inevitably it will be hard to find one that perfectly describes your situation at the time, but I hope one of the above might prove useful.

My last recommendation is for the grown ups – but it might help with the kids too.
4. Coping with Grief (Mal McKissock and Dianne McKissock)

This little book is really inexpensive ($11.95), written in Australia. It is a sensible, practical workbook to help you through the process of grieving. It has a section on Children and Grief and also has advice about how to cope with anniversaries, special dates and how to get support. A really good book to have on hand or to give to those grieving – it should be on all our bookshelves.

I hope this post doesn’t seem too much of a downer – I am taking comfort from the fact that the wonderful world of books has something for every moment in our lives, from the saddest to the most joyous and if we immerse ourselves in books the whole world is at our disposal!

[Editor's note... Sarah's post has reminded me that at the time Rowan's grandma died, we used a lovely book, which is perfectly pitched at the under 4 age-group. I'm adding it here as the final book in our Top 5 books on this topic.]

5. Ethan: What Happened to My Little Brother (Lisa White)

This little paperback has the look of a self-published edition, with simple line drawings and somewhat unconventional layout. But it is one of the best little books I’ve seen to help explain death to a toddler. It has been well-researched, adhering to the generally accepted advice available from early childhood and parenting experts. Toddlers are particularly prone to fears for their own death or the death of their mother or father after experiencing the death of a loved one, and this book helps to allay those feelings. It tells the story of the death of a little brother, who dies as a newborn in hospital. And although it depicts this particular scenario, we found it straightforward to adapt the story to our own situation of an older person dying after an illness. As part of the story, it includes a number of ideas for saying goodbye - such as letting off helium balloons and planting a tree - that younger children will be able to relate to. It might be a little hard to find a copy of this one, but it can be ordered direct from the publisher or via Seekbooks.

With the usual mid-winter bugs in our midst, we have two sick boys on our hands. But fortunately a guest post from Lisa is filling a breach left by our current irregular posting… Thanks Lisa!

A guest post by Lisa, mum to Finnan aged 3 years, and Daisy, 9 months

After watching my other mum friends go back for a second swing at the parenting thing, it’s now our turn. It’s been a fascinating, challenging and surprising experience already. We are suddenly recalling the forgotten peculiarities of our first child at certain stages of his babyhood, whilst learning everything all over again with the preferences of our new baby.

Thinking about this, I was wondering which books we’ve read to Finn will captivate Daisy? She already idolises her big brother – will she go so far as to want to sit and listen to readings from his extensive collection of digger books?! In honouring the wonder of sharing books with little people, I’ve compiled a list, in no particular order, of the books that have captivated my boy in the past year or so. I wonder which of these will make Daisy’s list in a few years’ time?

1.    Duck in the Truck (Jez Alborough – see Katie’s previous post)
Finnan is known among our family and friends for his fixation with ducks. Add rhymes, great illustrations and a truck to the mix and this one’s a no-brainer for a long-term favourite.

2.    The Big Busy Book of Richard Scarry
Even the most energetic toddler can be quelled into at least 10 minutes of quiet reflection when reading about the animal inhabitants of Busytown. This omnibus has had a hypnotic effect on Finn at very key times: on aeroplanes, long and short car rides and while waiting impatiently for Banana Milks and Ham Sangas in cafes. As a consequence, I will offer up thanks for the genius of Mr Scarry for many years to come…

3.    First 100 Machines (Bright Baby)
This sturdy hardback (from Priddy Books’ wonderful First 100 series) has every truck, emergency and earthmoving machine a vehicle-mad toddler needs to know about. It’s been carted EVERYWHERE by Finn and still looks great. It has saved my life and sanity on numerous occasions, diverting imminent tantrums, preventing boredom at cafes so I can finish my coffee, and proving a salve at teary times.

4.    Green Eggs and Ham (Dr Seuss)
This has edged out Seuss’ other classic, One Fish, Two Fish, as the night-time favourite for our rhyme-crazy toddler. Great fun to read, and endlessly amusing when Finn’s favourite trucks and cars repeat the rhymes to each other when he thinks no one’s listening.

5.    Anything Thomas
Before becoming a mum, I vowed I’d always be available to read my children any requested book (which puts me in mind of a fun book for mums I found recently, called I Was A Really Good Mom Until I Had Kids!). When Finnan became yet another Thomas the Tank Engine devotee, I quickly renounced my vow and refused to read more than one Thomas story a day. Cruel I know, but there’s really only so much I can take of these little paperbacks. They’re small and cheap ($2.95), but I find the text clunky and TOO LONG for repeated readings. The Thomas and Friends series from the latest TV episodes are shorter and much easier to read. They’re sturdier little hardbacks, only marginally dearer ($4.95), with less text and very clear photographs. Finn’s dad Aidan is happy to read more than one a day, but I just can’t bring myself to go there, despite my pre-motherhood vows…

A guest post by Lisa, mum to Finnan aged 3 years, and Daisy, 6 months

Finnan was just over two and a half when Daisy arrived last November. We were reasonably confident he understood and was excited about getting a new brother or sister, but wanted a book to help illustrate the experience.

Do a search online and you’ll find there are lots of books on this topic. A few that are often recommended in good bookshops include Sophie and the New Baby and Penny Dale’s Big Brother, Little Brother. Both have classic illustrations, and are well-written tales of how life changes in a family with the new arrival. Za Za’s Baby Brother is more contemporary in style and directed at younger toddlers, with shorter text and the gorgeous primary colours of writer/illustrator Lucy Cousins, famous for the Maisy Mouse series.

I’ve always wondered if ‘new baby’ and other ‘topic’ titles could pre-empt behaviour issues before they’re there. (See Katie’s previous post on Toilet Training - “Why, oh why, do so many potty books picture the use of a potty as a hat? Isn’t this the last thing you want to show a toddler who hasn’t thought of it yet…?”)

‘New baby’ books often depict toddlers getting cross at the new baby or playing up when being ignored by their parents. What if your child hasn’t even considered getting upset until they read these books? Or am I being naïve in thinking an older sibling might not feel this?

Anyway, these misgivings made it really hard for me to commit to buying a new baby book for Finn. Instead, we read a few stories featuring babies or big brothers and talked about the characters in the ‘book family’ caring for each other - “like we do in ours, Finnan”. Worth a try anyway!!

However, early in my pregnancy I’d seen There’s a House Inside My Mummy by Giles Andreae. The little boy/narrator isn’t naughty or upset, he’s actually very caring towards his mum when she gets tired, and is very excited about showing the new baby his toys (especially the train set, a big tick for our Thomas-obsessed boy). So the message was good, illustrations bright and beautiful, but I didn’t buy it because the premise was just too bizarre for me to explain (especially when the author mentions Mummy’s door being ‘too tight’ - what is THAT all about??? Finn’s dad still hasn’t stopped sniggering …).

But a very kind work colleague gave us a copy for Finn when we revealed he was to get a sibling, and Finn loved it almost straight away. We read it almost every night in the last few months before Daisy was born and I think he was definitely well prepared for her arrival. Afterwards, we were given a great Dorling Kindersley book called Our New Baby which focuses more on the daily routine of caring for a baby, rather than bad behaviour.

The clincher for Finn was when he arrived at the hospital after Daisy’s birth and “the baby” gave him a new Richard Scarry book WITH STICKERS!!! as a hello present. He ended up getting a book or sticker book every time he came in to visit, on topics unrelated to babies, which kept him excited, gave him something to look at so visitors could coo over the new baby without fear of jealousy, and also entertained him. Finn and Daisy get along famously so far and I’m sure our reading times together are partly the reason!

With so much awareness now of environmental issues here are our favorite green children’s books…

1. The Lorax (Dr. Seuss)

The original and the best children’s book about the perils of destroying your environment with greed and selfishness. “UNLESS someone like you…cares a whole awful lot…nothing is going to get better…It’s not.” Of course this picture book is typical Dr Seuss with wild tongue twisting rhymes and technicolour illustrations that almost require sunglasses to look at but it is also probably Seuss’ most important and prophetic work. The Once-ler describes how he has decimated the Loraxs’ habitat with deforestation and air and water pollution to set up his manufacturing plants, leading to the poor Loraxs’ extinction. Check out the Lorax Earth Day website- help the real Lorax forests.

2. Weslandia (Paul Fleischman and Kevin Hawkes)

This beautiful picture book is so very important in many ways. Protagonist Wesley is bullied at school because he doesn’t conform to what his peers consider normal, for example he doesn’t like pizza! While he is on school holidays and with no friends to play with he decides to create himself a self sustainable civilisation. He uses a plot of earth and grows a crop of ’swist’ a plant of his own creation that takes off soon towering above him and and bearing bizarre looking fruit. Soon Wesley discovers that he can use his strange crop as a multitude of things including clothing and shelter thus creating his ‘Weslandia’. Kevin Hawkes beautifully illustrates Wesley’s utopia giving little children a lavish landscape to admire while older children will grasp the themes of environment and social conscience.

3. We are the Weather Makers : The story of Global Warming (Tim Flannery)

This revised and updated version of Australian Tim Flannery’s best selling book on climate change is for a young adult audience, the children who it seems will inherit all these environmental issues from previous generations. This is science without all the jargon, in depth Flannery explains all the problems regarding the climate and also explores the solutions but all in a way that is easy to digest and understand. It is broken into chapters on each issue and has been printed in an excellent easy to read type. Marketed for an audience of 9 to 90 this is a great introduction to the world we live in today.

4. Scarlette Beane (Karen Wallace and Jon Berkeley)

The acrylic illustrations in this picture book are just so gorgeous. Scarlette is adorable with her face as red as a beet and little green fingers. On her fifth birthday she receives a small garden all of her own and begins to plant. Her vegies grow and grow until her whole neighborhood is enjoying the spoils. This is a beautiful sweet tale of ecology, friendship and sharing good food. Children love identifying objects and in this picture book there are plenty of vegetables to point at and name as well as showing them how plants grow.

5. Uno’s Garden (Graeme Base)

And of course funny little Uno! Winner of the The Wilderness Society Picture Book of the Year 2007, they described Uno’s Garden like this “Uno’s Garden is a lively and lavishly detailed picture book about environmental sustainability. A whimsical imaginary landscape demonstrates the importance of learning from past mistakes to ensure a balanced and liveable future“. See Katie’s fab post here about the Uno’s Garden Myer windows last Christmas.

And mummy is reading this!

The World Without Us by Alan Weisman, it’s a fascinating imagining of what would happen to the planet if humans disappeared.

Something came on the radio when I was in the car this morning that sent tingles down my arms.

It’s a new rendition of Paul Kelly’s classic, From Little Things Big Things Grow, released today, that celebrates the apology to the Stolen Generations on 13 February 2008. It’s a pretty amazing production, featuring Kev Carmody, Paul Kelly, Urthboy and Missy Higgins, as well as excerpts from Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s apology and former-PM Paul Keating’s Redfern speech. (The idea sprang from the much-played, even here in Australia, Yes We Can Obama song.) You can purchase and download a copy of From Little Things Big Things Grow here to help make it a hit and give it maximum exposure.

I’m really keen to introduce some more Aboriginal picture book stories into Rowan’s bookshelf. We have a copy of Elaine Russell’s vibrant A is for Aunty, an alphabet book which features things that Elaine remembers from growing up on a mission in New South Wales: racing Billycarts, being chased by Emus, picking Quandongs. It’s honest and thought-provoking: “I is for Inspection Day” and the manager’s wife check all the homes to see if they are properly cleaned.

Russell’s own story is a telling example of life during one of Australia’s darker periods of the past. One of seven children, Elaine Russell was born in Tingha in northern NSW in 1941. Around the age of 12, Russell entered a local art competition and won first prize of a trip to the Phillipines. Her parents wouldn’t let her go because they thought it was a trick by the government to remove her from her family. Russell can remember children ‘disappearing’ from the Murrin Bridge Mission.

The first exposure I had to Aboriginal picture books was through the series of books compiled by Pamela Lofts. I remember these from when I was at primary school. Published in 1980, even then I could tell that these books were pretty revolutionary: simply told traditional Aboriginal stories illustrated and told by Aboriginal people. I think they still work beautifully today, and I’ll be hunting down some copies for Rowan: How The Birds Got Their Colours by May Albert and Pamela Lofts and The Echidna and the Shade Tree by Mona Green and Pamela Lofts.

I have just discovered a beautiful, gorgeous, amazing blog on children’s books called Kids Literati. Kara is obviously a very passionate reader and sharer of good children’s literature.

One of Kara’s reviews is of the incredible Could You? Would You?: A Book To Tickle Your Imagination by Australian author Trudy White. This little book is like a meditation, open it at any page and you have a question to which the answers are endless, only bound by your imagination.

I can’t wait to the day when I can sit with Ned and talk about all the possibilities this book’s questions can conjure up. What an amazing thing imagination is and what a beautiful book this is to nurture it.

What makes you smile?

This book!

Have a look at the collection of photo’s of globes on this gorgeous blog. I love globes and I really want to get one for Ned’s room but have been procrastinating about the right one.

The one that fascinated me is the paper globe. Made from 100% recycled card from this website in the UK, they are flat packed for you to assemble.

While I was in awe of the paper globe I found this on the same site..

The constellations have been substituted with characters from Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass using John Tenniel’s artwork. The makers have gone to great lengths to link the characters with constellations and there are some amazing photo’s on the website of the painstaking work that goes into creating them. I think they are stunning and now I so want one!!

Is it just me or do Mothers Day and Fathers Day seem to be ripe for a battleground of parental proportions? I’m still not sure how far to go with the commercialism of these days. And when you have a child too young to ‘get it’, it’s hard to resist entering into a competition about who buys better presents on their behalf. Or, like I said, maybe it’s just me…

Anyway, for Brad’s second Father’s Day, I decided to buy a couple of books with some fatherly significance. My favourite was this one, Conn and Hal Iggulden’s The Dangerous Book for Boys.

The book contains a range of different sections, including useful trivia and factual explanations about everything from the Seven Wonders of the World to Cloud Formations. But I reckon the best bits are the things to make and do, like tripwires, codes and ciphers, and making a go-cart. Check out this cute trailer for the US edition. The Australian edition has Australian history and botany/zoology sections and explanations of Australian sports.

Despite the appearance of their names, Conn and Hal are two British brothers. Conn is a bit of a history nut, and has written several historical novels. He says of his own dad, “My father flew in Bomber Command in WWII, then taught maths and science. Perhaps crucially, he also loved poetry and cracking good tales. My father loved working with wood and equations, but he also recited ‘Vitai Lampada’ with a gleam in his eye and that matters, frankly.” Conn is writing a new book with another brother, David, called Dangerous Heroes, using the five extraordinary stories from the Dangerous Book for Boys as a starting point.

Rowan’s obviously a bit young for most of the information and activities in this book, but I’m a sucker for books with this look and feel. The timeless character of the its design and the good old-fashioned activities will hopefully last many years.

The obvious question is of course, what about the girls? Quicker than you can strike a conker, the publishers are onto it, with the publication of The Daring Book for Girls due in time for Christmas. In a lot of ways I don’t envy the two American authors of this spin-off. Let’s hope they manage to carry it off with all the spirit the girls deserve.