A guest post by Lisa, mum to Finnan aged 3 years, and Daisy, 6 months

Finnan was just over two and a half when Daisy arrived last November. We were reasonably confident he understood and was excited about getting a new brother or sister, but wanted a book to help illustrate the experience.

Do a search online and you’ll find there are lots of books on this topic. A few that are often recommended in good bookshops include Sophie and the New Baby and Penny Dale’s Big Brother, Little Brother. Both have classic illustrations, and are well-written tales of how life changes in a family with the new arrival. Za Za’s Baby Brother is more contemporary in style and directed at younger toddlers, with shorter text and the gorgeous primary colours of writer/illustrator Lucy Cousins, famous for the Maisy Mouse series.

I’ve always wondered if ‘new baby’ and other ‘topic’ titles could pre-empt behaviour issues before they’re there. (See Katie’s previous post on Toilet Training – “Why, oh why, do so many potty books picture the use of a potty as a hat? Isn’t this the last thing you want to show a toddler who hasn’t thought of it yet…?”)

‘New baby’ books often depict toddlers getting cross at the new baby or playing up when being ignored by their parents. What if your child hasn’t even considered getting upset until they read these books? Or am I being naïve in thinking an older sibling might not feel this?

Anyway, these misgivings made it really hard for me to commit to buying a new baby book for Finn. Instead, we read a few stories featuring babies or big brothers and talked about the characters in the ‘book family’ caring for each other – “like we do in ours, Finnan”. Worth a try anyway!!

However, early in my pregnancy I’d seen There’s a House Inside My Mummy by Giles Andreae. The little boy/narrator isn’t naughty or upset, he’s actually very caring towards his mum when she gets tired, and is very excited about showing the new baby his toys (especially the train set, a big tick for our Thomas-obsessed boy). So the message was good, illustrations bright and beautiful, but I didn’t buy it because the premise was just too bizarre for me to explain (especially when the author mentions Mummy’s door being ‘too tight’ – what is THAT all about??? Finn’s dad still hasn’t stopped sniggering …).

But a very kind work colleague gave us a copy for Finn when we revealed he was to get a sibling, and Finn loved it almost straight away. We read it almost every night in the last few months before Daisy was born and I think he was definitely well prepared for her arrival. Afterwards, we were given a great Dorling Kindersley book called Our New Baby which focuses more on the daily routine of caring for a baby, rather than bad behaviour.

The clincher for Finn was when he arrived at the hospital after Daisy’s birth and “the baby” gave him a new Richard Scarry book WITH STICKERS!!! as a hello present. He ended up getting a book or sticker book every time he came in to visit, on topics unrelated to babies, which kept him excited, gave him something to look at so visitors could coo over the new baby without fear of jealousy, and also entertained him. Finn and Daisy get along famously so far and I’m sure our reading times together are partly the reason!